Wednesday, 30 November 2011

Pfleuger

Apparently, there is a place in Texas called Pfleugerville. Apparently, this is a common name in the area. In my imagination, a Pfleuger is kind of like a smurf, but purple and slightly more insane. Following, is my representation of this mystical creature which populates the southern united states: 

Pfleuger, with ceremonial plunger. 

Does anyone else have any information on this creature? If so, please share!

Friday, 18 November 2011

Japan day?

So, apart from kicking around with homework, I spent the day indulging in two of my old vices: Japanese literature, and anime.

Reread some Mishima. This was a book we took in one of my upper year Asian cultural history classes, which was taught by my favourite history professor of all time.

If you can get your hands on this collection of short stories, I'd highly suggest it. Mishima can be a little slow at times, but what he lacks in fast paced action, he makes up for in the unspoken depths of his characters, and in his minute attention to detail. Where Mishima is truly strong, is in his creation of a setting, the way he paints an image, which comes through with vivid clarity even in an English translation.

As for the anime, I imbibed in a rather confusing little number, a series made up of eight "movies" called Kara no Kyoukai. As with most anime I watch these days (yeah, I'm getting too old for it, but I'm also too old for The Princess Bride and I watch that on a biyearly basis, so bite me) I am of mixed feelings. 

Production quality seems high enough. The musical score is quite good, though at times a little disjointed in a way that reflects the plot. The story is told in reverse order, with a series of flashbacks working up to where we began in the first episode.

When I say the plot is disjointed, I am not pointing out a flaw. It is intentionally confusing. The main character is a schizophrenic sociopath with a split personality disorder, and the only people keeping her grounded are a chainsmoking "sorceress" and a very sweet young man named Kokuto. 

I think my biggest bone is with the main character, Shiki, herself. She has an unfortunate habit of wearing a red leather jacket over top of a traditional kimono, and although she is constantly dubbed "beautiful" by the other characters, I'm just not seeing it. She mostly just seems kind of bitchy, especially to poor Kokuto, who is so enamoured with being rejected by her that he came every day for two years to visit her when she was in a coma (all the better to ignore him, I suppose).

Am I being cynical? Probably

(but seriously? you can't tell me that that doesn't look a little dumb) 

Thursday, 17 November 2011

Badminton and Good Parenting

Book of Good Parenting #1

Signs your child may need glasses: 



Book of Good Parenting #2

Signs your child may not be athletically inclined: 




. . .and that about sums up my highschool gym experiences ^__^

Sunday, 6 November 2011

November 6, 2011


Autumnal chill
breath brittle on my tongue
misting out over 
glasslike still

The lagoon before me

Tread forward
leaves crackling loud as
shards of old china
dusted with frost

At water's edge

I look down
Searching murky depths
for my oldest teacher
met with nothing

The truth

Distant trumpets
sound from heaven
a manic cry
geese heading south

Friday, 3 June 2011

Silent Films

I know that to the modern viewer, the silent film looks sort of. . .comical. Overacting is necessary to convey a story without sound, and the jerkiness of the film itself makes the actors look like humorous parodies of human beings.

But all that aside, watch this little story of adultery by one of France's pioneer filmmakers, Charles Pathe.



What struck me, watching it, was first of all how different people must have been back then. Today, you could hardly get anyone to sit through anything without sound, without stunning visuals, explosions, sex, and fast paced action. Much less could you get most people today to *follow* a story told purely through mime. There's something admirable in that: the silent film makes you think, and use your imagination to fill in the story. Modern film not only gives us everything on a silver platter, turning us into two hour zombies as we absorb the film, it also often shoves overdone cinematics down our throats.

The second thing that struck me was the beauty of some of the visuals. A great deal of time and effort must have gone into setting up a scene, almost like laying out the props for a painting or an artistic photograph. You could take a still shot from almost anywhere in the video, frame it, and put it up on your wall. This attention to detail in the creation of a visual moment has become well established in cinema today (although, not everyone uses it). When it is applied well, attention to detail can raise a film from pure entertainment, to art. It is interesting to see how far back this goes, but when you think about it, it makes perfect sense. In the silent film, the visual was all that was available to convey, so much thought had to be put into how each image was laid out, in order to create something in any way worth watching.

While I wouldn't want to revert to the silent film (I enjoy my vegitable time, dammit), the art form certainly seems something worth exploring further. I am curious to discover the ways in which silent film has influenced film today.

Thursday, 2 June 2011

Celebrities, and Their Tits.

So, it's happened again. Some celebrity snapped a bunch of photos of her naughty bits on her phone, and they got leaked to the public. Which celebrity this time you ask? None other than Blake Lively, star of "Gossip Girl", "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" (parts one and two), and the upcoming "Green Lantern".

I'm sure you're asking yourself the same thing I am:

Why the *fuck* can't the famous figure out this simple fact. If they take pictures of their tits, they *will* be seen by the public. It's inevitiable.

Or to quote a disturbed literary figure: "It's axiomatic."

The popular theory is that she snapped these R-Rated pics while she was filming "The Town". Having seen them, I'd have to say I concur, since the tattoo's on her body match the ones that Make-up put on her for the movie. So, here it is. I'm gonna put it out there in plain-speak for all the celebrities who think that their boyfriends need a picture of them posing like self-absorbed cunts in their bathroom mirror:

HEY. CELEBRITIES. HERE'S THE DEAL. IF YOU TAKE A PICTURE OF YOUR TITS, ASS, AND NETHERLY GIRLY BITS.. PEOPLE WILL SEE. IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN. THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. SO UNLESS YOU WANT YOUR VAG PLASTERED ACROSS THE WEB, KEEP YOUR FUCKING PANTS ON.

That being said: I hope no one takes my advice, because I like watching famous people fall.

(I almost included pictures, but I'm not sure who the rights belong to, so I neglected. If anyone is desperate to see them, go to Egotastic, or What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

I almost forgot to add: her Reps vehemently deny that this is her.. but she has nice tits, and I like nice tits -- after doing a forensic examination that approaches CSI levels, I can say -- this *is* her.

Tuesday, 24 May 2011

Popular Music

Top Five Songs IN AMERICA:

#5) Brittney Spears "Till the World Ends"

This Kitten Got Your Tong Tied In Knots I See
Spit It Out Cuz Im Dying For Company . ..

#4) Ke$ha - Blow

I'd make a cartoon here, but the lyrics speak for themselves:

"Hahahahahahahahaha! Drink that Kool-Aid! Follow my lead! Now you're one of us. You're coming with me . .. Tonight were taking over.No one's getting out. This place about to blow. Blow! Now what?
We're taking control!"



#3) Black Eyed Peas "Just Can't Get Enough"

The Black Eyed Peas attempt to cover all of their bases in this song of love:

GIRLS SAY:


Boy I think about it every night, and day
I'm addicted, want to jump inside your love
I wouldn't want to have it any other way
I'm addicted, and I just can't get enough



BOYS SAY: 


Honey got her sexy on steamin
She give the hotness a new meanin
Perfection, mami you gleamin
Inception, you got a brother dreamin, dreamin
Damn baby I'm fiendin
I'm tryin to holla at you I'm screamin
Let me love you down this evenin



ROBOTS SAY: 




We LOL back and forth on the text line
She got me fishin for her love, I confess I'm..
Somethin 'bout her smile and the convo
Got me high and I ain't comin down yo
My heart's pumpin out louder than electro
She got me feelin like MR. ROBOTO



#2) S&M - Rhianna


Mixed messages: 




# 1 ) Katie Perry: Extra Terrestrial 


Pickup lines: Katy Perry Style...





Wednesday, 27 April 2011

Lessons from The Great Ones

So, if you were a teen in the early 90's, you knew about two totally excellent dudes, named Bill S. Preston, Esq., and Ted Theodore Logan. Everyone knew about these guys. For a couple of years, they were everywhere.


No, really Ted, you were. EVERYWHERE.

These guys did wonders for the lexicon of the early 90's. Excellent. Bodacious. Heinous. Non-Heinous. Non-Non-Non-Non-Heinous. And of course, STATION!

Great movies. Wonderful bits and pieces of my youth, wrapped up in the personality of two complete idiots, with hearts of gold.

I saw Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure when I was in Jr. High. For some unknown reason, the faculty thought this would be a good film to show to the entire student body. I still haven't figured that one out. It's like they were encouraging us all to become career slackers.

However, it did spark something in me. Something that I wouldn't begin to realize until I saw the sequel, Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey, and that I wouldn't fully realize until almost two decades later.

The first little bit to really get my attention, was this inspiring speech by one of our Nation's greatest leaders.

(Editors note: Yes, I know Stevie is Canadian. We don't fault her for that.)


That's a very simple concept. "Be excellent to each other." It seems to me that life would be a whole lot easier all around, if everyone were to listen to the words of The Great Ones, and just try to apply them to their daily lives on even a semi-regular basis.

But it was more than that, here I am, a career slacker. I'm the kinda guy who the teachers wanted to flunk out of school. All sorts of people, from guidance counselors, to teachers, to my parents, have offered all sorts of excuses as to why that was - but the truth is, me and high school just weren't a good fit. I knew this even when I was in the seventh grade. And then, all of the sudden, were these two guys - larger than life - showing me that even slackers can change the world.

See, in their Hollywood penned life, Bill and Ted were the progenitors of a greater society. Their ideals changed the world. They made the future better for everyone. And for the longest time, I tried to work on those principles. If I changed the world for one person, I was doing okay.

Then, I went off the rails.

"Well I've been drinking, but nothing's ever gained." -- "Drinking Again," by Neverland, from the Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey soundtrack.

Yeah, you guessed it. Me and booze, me and drugs, whatever. This isn't an after school special, and you've heard it all before. All I can say for sure, is that watching movies from my youth, which have always had a huge hold on me, helped me get my head out of my ass. Well, that, and a few hard kicks from some close friends of mine, whom I am not sure will ever know how grateful I am to them.

The Bill and Ted movies, (along with Pump Up The Volume - which is another blog post in itself), helped me get myself back on point. They helped me realize what I had made of myself. That I was no longer "being excellent" to anyone. I especially wasn't being excellent to myself. So, I did what I do best. I crawled back into myself, for a serious period of introspection. I made music (yes, you can thank Bill and Ted for that,) and I tried to figure out where I went wrong.

But the truth is, it didn't matter where I went wrong. The only thing that mattered, was how to get myself back on track. To live up to the example that "The Great Ones" set for me. So, what did I do? I picked myself up from the ashes that were the remnant of the fires I lit myself, and started all over again. And I found myself looking at a future that was pretty damned good:


So here I am, working for that future. I'm not there yet, but I'm "writing the song that will save the world," my world. Just like Bill and Ted did. And it will be good.


So yeah, as has been said multiple times in this post: Be excellent to each other.

And..

PARTY ON, DUDE!

Post Script: In closing, it would not be fair at all for me to make this, without offering my eternal thanks, and love, to two of my best friends, Josh and Jeremy. Without you guys, I'd not be here now. Even though we don't talk as much as I want these days, I still think about you.

You'll always be my Wyld Stallyns.

Tuesday, 26 April 2011

Otowa

So, yesterday I took the little sister driving again, and we wound up at a Japanese restaurant downtown called Otowa. I'd been meaning to visit this place since I lived in Saskatoon in the summer of 2007. What drew my attention to it was the fact that, walking by it one day, I saw a girl come out in a kimono to set out a sign. The servers dress up! How cool is that?


The atmosphere is excellent (if a little dark). Its cozy, nicely decorated (though perhaps in need of an update--particularly in the bathrooms. YES I AM PARANOID ABOUT BATHROOMS). The dishware was quite nice to look at:

We ordered a variety of dishes: Caterpillar sushi, miso soup, salad, and agedashi for starts. Then Jaimie had tempura and more agadashi, and I had beef don.

happy sushi caterpillar!

some of the most amazing miso I've had

Agedashi

Jaimie's tempura

Jaimie om nomming

Unfortunately,  I forgot to get a picture of my beef don. Oh well. For the most part, the food was really good (if a little heavy). I particularly enjoyed the miso, the salad, and the sushi. I think this is definitely a place I will go back to to try a wider variety of their sushi. The beef don was a little on the bland/dry side, I found, however.

Overall this was a good dining experience. The staff is friendly, and didn't even look at Jaimie too oddly when she asked if she could have her plain white rice packed up (. . .). The appetizers were amazing, and while I didn't like my main that much, I would definitely give them another chance.

Reflection on Holidays


I call this a reflection, but really its more of a pet peeve of mine: People who refuse to celebrate holidays because they are "too commercial". If you don't like the holiday, don't believe in what's behind it, that's fine--nothing saying you have to celebrate. But if you agree with the holiday in everything but what popular culture has done with it, you need to stop and look at yourself. What you are angry with is the fact that holidays like Christmas, easter, valentines day, have become more about physical gifts (xboxes, stuffed bunnies, chocolate) than about the religious/social aspects. But refusing to have anything to do with the holiday is not an answer. In fact, it just makes the problem worse. Refusing to celebrate Christmas with your family does not give meaning back to Christmas--rather than spreading love and joy, it spreads resentment and unhappiness.

It is far better to look at the holiday, think about what it represents to you,  and go about sharing that meaning with others in your life, than it is just to sit back, ignore the day and everyone involved in it. If friends are important, bake Christmas cookies and share them over coffee with your best buds. If family is what counts to you, buy your family members little gifts on valentines day just to remind them that you care. If religion is what floats your boat, convince someone to go to church with you on easter. Share. Enjoy. Appreciate. The holidays (any holiday) will be a whole lot less stressful and a whole lot more fun for everyone.

ON THE FARM WITH SOUP

Went out to dad's farm this weekend with jaimie and her bf. Had a great day wandering around outside, and then I went in and made some awesome homemade soup for dad, the kids, and I. I'd give you the soup recipie, but I don't remember what I put in it. I really need to start writing these things down.

So, instead, here's some pichers of springtime in saskatchewan on the farm:
Jaimie, Driving!

Blue, blue skies



Crocuses!








Brother, Niece and Nephew, Me, Sis, and her Bf. . .and the dog.

Friday, 15 April 2011

Screw you, winter!

It snowed. The world outside the window looks bleak, icky grey and muddy. I was late to work because I had to plough through slush.
I'm starting to think that this is the beginning of another ice age.

So, I'm giving up on Earth. You should too. To encourage you,  I would like you to visit http://www.astropix.com/, which contains some truly stunning astronomical photographs.

And a few other cool ones I dug up whilst googling (I make such a productive use of my time!)





^ This is an older image from http://www.mindex.be/astronomy/index.php?cat=15, which contains some interesting history on astrophotography (although I cannot vouch for the sources, the information seems accurate. Interested, but not interested enough to do the research myself, hah).




Van Gogh was ahead of his time!

Wednesday, 13 April 2011

A brief post on the victimization of women

So, I just read about Toronto's Slut Walk, at http://www.fangirltastic.com/content/slut-walk (Thank you Minerva Li of The Renfield Trading Company!) This event was held in light of some comments made earlier in the year by a Toronto police officer, which amounted to:

"If a woman dresses like a slut, she deserves to be assaulted".

This is a stigma that has been kicking around for a long, long, long time. It is tremendously outdated. It has caused judges to be sympathetic with rapists, and apparently causes our law enforcement to be unsympathetic with victims.

Here's the thing. Unless a woman verbally asks to be advanced upon sexually, or instigates sexual contact, she is not asking to be advanced upon sexually. Period. It doesn't matter what she is wearing. Clothing is its own sort of language, but it can be easily misinterpreted, and so should not hold up as evidence of a woman's sluttishness and intent to seduce in court. Those short shorts she was wearing? MAYBE IT WAS HOT OUT, DIMWAD.

If a man with a chicken fetish were to rape a woman in a chicken suit, would her outfit be held as a valid reason for his actions? I really don't think so. She was just going about her job selling fried chicken, for chrissakes.

In retaliation, I think women should start running around shoving baseball bats up the asses of any good looking men wandering around shirtless, or wearing a nice suit, or with a few too many buttons undone at the bar. We'll see how the courts and the law enforcement like that.

And remember, Toronto cop, women find men in uniform sexy. By your own standards, you could be next.

Tuesday, 12 April 2011

Kicking Around the Hometown

First, allow me to introduce to you, Sunday Dinner. It took one and a half hours to make this delightful shrimp creole and vegitarian (!) taco salad, and everyone seemed quite pleased with it.


It either looks really good or really barfy, I'm not sure. Either way, colorful food makes me happy ^_^

Jaimie being awesome.

 


Me today, looking kinda westerny or something: boots- thrifted, tights: zellers, dress:walmart, vest: vintage, necklace (its a dreamcatcher!) --I have no idea.

 
Some pictures in the yard





Pretty mural on the local coffee dive

The hellhole where I worked for a couple of months

The hellhole where I went to school for thirteen years. 

My sister in a tree




eerie

And finally: THE SIGN AT THE CEMETARY-- 
"No Additions, Alterations, or Removals Without Prior Permission of Village Office"
(ahh. . .that always makes me laff)